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Joke !

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tpickering
Posts: 119
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2021 3:32 pm
Location: Stratham Western Australia

Re: Joke !

Post by tpickering »

I went to a Zoo the other day but there was only one animal there, a dog
What a Shih Tsu

Thanks to my grandson for that one !

Brian-H
Very Wise Man
Very Wise Man
Posts: 1095
Joined: Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:04 pm
Location: UK

Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

Two people watched three DVDs back to back. Unfortunately only one of them was facing the TV.

Brian-H
Very Wise Man
Very Wise Man
Posts: 1095
Joined: Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:04 pm
Location: UK

Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

A man has a moth-eaten collection of football shirts and a plastic copy of the world cup he'd spray-painted gold.
His wife throws them in the bin and says "30 years of shirts, Jules Rimet was peeling"

h.j.thomassen
Posts: 75
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:59 pm
Location: Nijmegen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Re: Joke !Place of Birth

Post by h.j.thomassen »

Found this in a local newspaper:

Young lad had to fill in a more or less official application form. To be sure his parents checked it before submitting. They read:

Place of Birth: Mum's bed

hendrik-jan

tpickering
Posts: 119
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2021 3:32 pm
Location: Stratham Western Australia

Re: Joke !

Post by tpickering »

Two crocodiles were sunning themselves on a river bank when along came a clown from the circus that was in town
On of the crocs grabbed the clown and took him into the river where they both had him for lunch!!
Later thar afternoon one of the crocs was feeling unwell and said to the other one "Did that clown taste funny to you?" :lol: :lol:

h.j.thomassen
Posts: 75
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:59 pm
Location: Nijmegen, The Netherlands
Contact:

Re: Joke !

Post by h.j.thomassen »

Sometimes a real life story is more funny than you can make up in your fantasy.
From today's Daily Mail Online:

Council hired a contractor to paint yellow "no parking" lines along a street.
Contractor failed to put out traffic cones in time, so a row of parked cars blocked his work.
Contractor chartered a crane, had the cars lifted one by one, painted the lines underneath, and lowered the cars again in place.
Shortly thereafter a traffic warden came along and fined them all....

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... ed-70.html

hendrik-jan

Stan Thomas
Wise Man
Wise Man
Posts: 795
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2016 2:14 pm
Location: Penkridge. Staffs.

Re: Joke !

Post by Stan Thomas »

There was a massive spate of heart attacks all over Liverpool this morning due to an NHS covid letter going out with a spelling mistake - which should have read - You have got to get a jab

Stan Thomas
Wise Man
Wise Man
Posts: 795
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2016 2:14 pm
Location: Penkridge. Staffs.

Re: Joke !

Post by Stan Thomas »

Went on the O.A.P's outing to see the Victory on Saturday - and on the poop deck there was a stone slab which said "Nelson fell her" - and I thought "No wonder", I nearly tripped over the bloody thing myself.

Petelang
Helpful Person
Helpful Person
Posts: 424
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2016 10:23 am
Location: Nottingham
Contact:

Re: Joke !

Post by Petelang »

With apologies to members in the North West, but I did find this funny:
One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a scouser all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share.

The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge.

They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he’d sleep in the barn.

The Hindu and the scouser were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a pig in that barn and because I’m Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.” “No problem,” said the Hindu. “I’ll sleep out there instead.”

So off he went to the barn, leaving the scouser and the Jew to share the room.

They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a cow in that barn and because I’m a Hindu I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.”

The scouser grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jew and the Hindu to share the room.

The Jew and the Hindu were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door.

It was the cow and the pig.😂😂🤣🤣😂😂
Peter Langridge
Cloud Nine Classic Weddings, Nottingham.

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