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Joke !

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Stan Thomas
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Re: Joke !

Post by Stan Thomas »

Wolverhampton Council are advertising for binmen.

No experince necessary - as you will pick it up as you go

Brian-H
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Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

A teacher asked her young pupils to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "Farmers grow beans" said one pupil. "They cook beans in the school kitchen" said another. A third pupil then said "I think we are all human beans"

Brian-H
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Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

I think I first heard this one about 50 years ago.

A young man goes to a circus and when the clown comes on he asks for a volunteer. The young man puts his hand up and the clown calls him out, then says "do you look like the front end of an ass", "NO" he replies. The clown says "do you look like the back end of an ass", "NO" he replies. The clown says "well you must be no end of an ass", to which the whole audience laughs and the young man runs away.

He is so upset that he finds a college offering courses in self esteem, which involve the use of "quick wit and repartee". Then he does an OU course in Politics and Philosophy and discovers many people from ancient Greece and Rome were skilled at "quick wit and repartee". Then he does PhD research into the area of "quick wit and repartee" and publishes loads of research papers, writes loads of books, and becomes a Professor in the art of "quick wit and repartee".

Then he thinks of the clown who inadvertently sent him down this path. He finds the same circus and finds out that the same clown is there performing the same act. So he goes to the circus and sits in the same seat, and when the clown asks for a volunteer, he puts puts his hand up and the clown calls him out, then says "do you look like the front end of an ass", "NO" he replies. The clown says "do you look like the back end of an ass", "NO" he replies. The clown says "well you must be no end of an ass", to which he replies "get stuffed you red-faced wazzock".

Stan Thomas
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Re: Joke !

Post by Stan Thomas »

Actually, the punch line is far more graphic than that, which only the words "off" and "red nose" can be repeated on the forum!!

Brian-H
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Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

Yep, that was the tamest expletive that I could think of LOL

Brian-H
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Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

Some archaeologists discover remnants of what appears to be long strands of copper wire under one of the pyramids at Teotihuacan and proudly announce that the Mayans must have had telephones.

A few months later, archaeologists in China discover long microscopic strands of glass in the area near the Terracotta Army, and proudly announce that Taoist alchemists had built a fibre network for the first Emperor of China.

Donald Trump decides that he can do better and assembles archaeologists to dig in the grounds of Mar-a-Lago. After going deep down to levels from about 50,000 years ago, they find nothing, then proudly announce that ancient Americans in the Florida area had a cellular phone network.

Brian-H
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Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

On an old film of Cannibals in ***
1st Cannibal : I don't think much of your wife
2nd Cannibal : Just eat the chips then

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Re: Joke !

Post by Chris_R »

image001.png

Brian-H
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Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

joints.jpg

Brian-H
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Re: Joke !

Post by Brian-H »

rat_joke.jpg

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