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Joke !

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sherlock
Posts: 181
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 9:54 pm

Re: Joke !

Post by sherlock » Thu Apr 05, 2018 12:03 pm

A 70 year old man is having a drink in a bar. Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can’t take his eyes off her.
After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him. Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:

“I’ll do anything you’d like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn’t matter how extreme or unusual it is, I’m game. I want $100, and there’s another condition”.

Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.

“You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman. He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 $10 bills in her outstretched hand. He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:

“Paint my house.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a froggy, nobody is perfect

1934 BSA three wheeler - 1968 Daimler 250 V8 - 1993 Daimler XJ40 Majestic LWB
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theoldman
Posts: 1108
Joined: Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:39 pm
Location: Bacton on Sea, Norfolk UK

Re: Joke !

Post by theoldman » Thu Jun 14, 2018 6:54 am

The England football team visited an orphanage in Russia yesterday.

"It is heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope"

Said Vladimir, aged 7.
Normal for Norfolk

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John-B
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Location: Salisbury, UK
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Re: Joke !

Post by John-B » Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:15 am

theoldman wrote:
Thu Jun 14, 2018 6:54 am
The England football team visited an orphanage in Russia yesterday.

"It is heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope"

Said Vladimir, aged 7.
Ha ha! Does that qualify as a racist comment?

Petelang
Posts: 217
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2016 10:23 am
Location: Nottingham
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Re: Joke !

Post by Petelang » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:09 pm

Probably based on a degree of truth...
Peter
Peter Langridge
Cloud Nine Classic Weddings, Nottingham.

Phillmore
Posts: 847
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2016 1:25 pm
Location: Worcestershire Herefordshire border

Re: Joke !

Post by Phillmore » Thu Jun 14, 2018 6:45 pm

Funny but definitely not racist and based on a lot of truth sadly. 1966 seems a long time ago ;)
Andy

1954 Conquest Mk1, 1956 Conquest Mk2, 1957 Conquest Century Mk2, 1955 Austin A90 Westminster

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theoldman
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Location: Bacton on Sea, Norfolk UK

Re: Joke !

Post by theoldman » Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:18 pm

There is a cartoon in the current Private Eye, showing the team bus parked in the Heathrow "Short Stay Car Park" :lol:
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theoldman
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Location: Bacton on Sea, Norfolk UK

Re: Joke !

Post by theoldman » Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:21 pm

Oh and apparently the pilot of the plane which flew them out asked if he should keep the engines running..............................

Any more, chaps?? :D
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Phillmore
Posts: 847
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2016 1:25 pm
Location: Worcestershire Herefordshire border

Re: Joke !

Post by Phillmore » Sat Jun 16, 2018 2:47 pm

:D Even the WAGS only packed over night bags.
Andy

1954 Conquest Mk1, 1956 Conquest Mk2, 1957 Conquest Century Mk2, 1955 Austin A90 Westminster

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sherlock
Posts: 181
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Re: Joke !

Post by sherlock » Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:15 pm

What is the difference between a tea bag and the German team ?

The tea bag stays longer in the cup !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a froggy, nobody is perfect

1934 BSA three wheeler - 1968 Daimler 250 V8 - 1993 Daimler XJ40 Majestic LWB
Image

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theoldman
Posts: 1108
Joined: Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:39 pm
Location: Bacton on Sea, Norfolk UK

Re: Joke !

Post by theoldman » Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:04 pm

Sign outside a Chemist's shop during structural alterations

BISMUTH AS USUAL
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