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Daimler is to become the official car manufacturer of the EU

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David S
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Daimler is to become the official car manufacturer of the EU

Post by David S » Mon Apr 01, 2019 12:05 am

Did you know that the Daimler is to become the official car manufacturer of the EU?
Germany has always claimed to have invented motor cars; Gottieb Daimler, a German, invented the carburettor and was able to use it to convert a Gas engine to run on petrol. He soon fitted it to an old 3 wheeled invalid carriage his friend Karl Benz found in his garage. However, as electric cars are now expected to become the norm of the future, Germans, instead of being credited for their invention, are going to be blamed for all the trouble the Internal Combustion engine has caused in the way of deaths in road accidents, fires, wars and pollution. So, the EU has decided to help compensate the German super state by taking up a suggestion by Mercedes Benz to make the Daimler brand the official car builder of the European Union.
The Daimler brand was accepted for this accolade because it is a well-known European brand and has been manufactured in many EU member states. Gottieb originally built his engines in Germany but he also licensed his patent for use in other EU countries. Austro-Daimlers were made in Austria, Daimler engines went into French Peugeots and Packhards, and a permission was given to H. J. Lawson in 1893 to build Daimler engines in England. Also, lots of little tin-pot EU countries use Daimler Benzes [i.e. Mercedes Benzes] as their PM/President/Chancellor carriers. Daimler is obviously a recognised and respected independent brand here in Great Britain.
As the EU want to try to keep the UK in their rather expensive club the UK will, in future rightly officially replace Germany as the inventor of the motor car. As you can see here: http://www.automostory.com/first-electric-car.htm electric cars were invented here in the UK well before Daimler put together his dangerous and polluting carburettor: The website says “between 1832 and 1839 (the exact date is unknown), Scotsman Robert Anderson is credited with inventing the first electric car”. So we, in the United Kingdom, will get full credit for inventing the motor car at last!
A Jaguar’s Chauffeur found out that the Daimler brand is being made the Official Car Maker of the EU during an informal chat with Nigel Farage outside the EU commission building while he was waiting to pick up Teresa May after another one of those bruising meetings. The chauffeur told the top brass at Jaguar about the plan, and they have hastily put together a badge engineered Daimler XJ 12V LWB VDP XXL GT De-Luxe version of the ordinary Jaguar XJ.
The car will have a British built 12V Electric engine [which will be available in Europe tariff-free after the likely “No-Deal Brexit” because it is badged Daimler (the official car builder of the EU)]. 12 volt car will not catch fire like the equivalent Tesla as it uses asbestos around the battery. As it is a Daimler it will carry the Daimler script in its bonnet and boot and of course, it will have a fake crinkly chrome grille shell. The XJ 12V LWB VDP XXL GT De-Luxe model’s badge will long so it will have to be positioned where the number plate usually sits, so it will be illuminated in the dark by a low energy led bulb!
There will be a bit of extra polished laminated wood from sustainable forests and a flock of Lake District vegan sheep will be rounded up so their fleeces can be used for the seat covers. Everything else will be just ordinary Jaguar parts. There will be no Fiberglass on this new official EU car and no fins at the back, but the tyres will, of course, be Radials of Ploy.

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John-B
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Re: Daimler is to become the official car manufacturer of the EU

Post by John-B » Mon Apr 01, 2019 6:22 am

There's something odd about this topic. I read the first few words, then gave up because the post is so long, then looked at the time and date of posting! It's in the wrong forum too.
It's in the SP250 & V8 forum when it should be in the other Daimler forum.
However, it's reminded me to change my calendars.

David S, may I remind you that there is a charge of £1 for every deliberately misleading post unless it is in the "Joke" topic.

David S
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Re: Daimler is to become the official car manufacturer of the EU

Post by David S » Mon Apr 01, 2019 11:14 am

Cheers John! - I think I owe quite a lot of £1's.

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heh101353
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Re: Daimler is to become the official car manufacturer of the EU

Post by heh101353 » Mon Apr 01, 2019 12:34 pm

Anybody conscious of todays date?

cheers, Hans

Sydsmith
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Re: Daimler is to become the official car manufacturer of the EU

Post by Sydsmith » Mon Apr 01, 2019 5:45 pm

This of course is typical of the EU, details of which can be found under the original officials name.

If you Google Lipra Loof, I think she is Dutch, all will become clear. Syd

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